


what's new, pussycat?

by winterwinterwinter



Series: meow wow. [1]
Category: Fargo (TV)
Genre: M/M, absolute idiocy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterwinterwinter/pseuds/winterwinterwinter
Summary: in which wrench learns something about numbers.
Relationships: Mr. Numbers/Mr. Wrench (Fargo)
Series: meow wow. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679137
Kudos: 16





	what's new, pussycat?

**Author's Note:**

> like the one where they get into a fight at tgi friday's, i'd say they're still somewhere in their twenties.

wrench wasn’t a fool. he knew that numbers kept his fair share of secrets. that was just part of who he was, and though it took him a while, wrench accepted it. after scores of fights and nights spent alone, he’d accepted it.

but there was still a part of him that craved those secrets. he loved numbers, and he wasn’t embarrassed of it in the slightest - except, perhaps, when they were on the job and numbers did something exceptionally stupid, or maybe when he came home roaring drunk with a new, ugly tattoo - and that love made him want to know everything. made him feel like he had to know everything, or he might die. and so when he woke up late saturday morning to an empty bed and wandered into their kitchen-living room-dining room only to spot numbers sprawled out on the couch with a little notebook, his heart jumped in excitement. a notebook? what was _this_?

numbers was so absorbed in whatever bullshit he was doing he didn’t notice wrench approaching until it was too late.

wrench snatched the little notebook out from under him.

numbers shouted silently, indignantly as wrench hoisted the notebook high above him. his eyes were on fire. he looked absolutely pissed. _adorable,_ wrench thought, because it was. he was.

_what’s this?_ wrench said with one hand.

_none of your fucking business,_ numbers said.

_everything you do is my business,_ wrench said.

_not!_ numbers said.

wrench looked up at the notebook and began to scan the open page. on it was a crude little drawing of a cat standing on its hind legs, with what appeared to be a scarf around its neck. numbers was no artist, but it was cute enough. there were stray marks all over the page, and fat gray clouds where there once must have been writing that he erased.

wrench looked back at numbers, who was fuming.

_cute cat,_ he said.

this only seemed to make numbers angrier. his face was red. his teeth were clenched.

_what’s wrong?_ he said.

_give it back,_ numbers said.

_fine,_ wrench said. he was already bored of it. but still, he had to ask: _why a cat?_

numbers drew back. _what do you mean?_ he said.

wrench tucked the notebook under his arm so he could use both hands. _you don’t draw. why the cat, then?_ he said. the same type of questions that earned him praise for his thoroughness on the job.

_you said it,_ numbers said. _because it’s cute._

_you don’t like cute things,_ wrench said. it was true. numbers turned his nose up at baby animals and whatever else was soft and precious.

numbers shrugged.

wrench took another look at the notebook page before handing it over. maybe if numbers knew how to draw… _whatever,_ wrench thought. he looked at the little scarf, looking at its roughly shaded in stripes. it was familiar…

_is that your scarf?_ wrench said, pointing. it was a bit touching, really. wrench had gotten him that scarf, after all. blue and purple stripes, softer than silk. wrench smiled a bit at the memory of finding it at the store, at the memory of numbers’s quiet, understated delight. yes, that was numbers’s scarf. he would know it anywhere.

numbers seemed to realize this. _yeah,_ he said.

_is this you?_ wrench said. _as a cat?_

for some reason, numbers clammed up. his mouth tightened - he looked like he just ate something sour. he was rigid all over. _no,_ he lied.

_feels like you’re lying to me,_ wrench said. _shouldn’t lie, baby._ he used both hands to flip through the notebook. there was nothing else of note - just old checklists, grocery lists, phone numbers and addresses and vague scribbles.

numbers reached out, quick as a whip, and knocked the notebook out of wrench’s hands. wrench looked at him. he was red down to his collarbones now. _that serious?_ wrench thought.

_what’s wrong?_ he said.

_fuck you,_ numbers said.

_i thought it was nothing,_ wrench said.

_it is nothing!_

_then what’s wrong?_

_nothing!_

_tell me,_ wrench implored, running a finger down the red-hot skin of numbers’s neck. numbers jerked away from his touch. wrench idly kicked at the notebook on the floor, which had fallen with the drawing of the cat wearing the scarf facing up. numbers looked down at it, then back up at wrench. wrench looked back at him. he watched numbers soften - the tension left his brow and his mouth. he sighed.

_you can’t laugh, alright?_ numbers said.

_promise,_ wrench said.

wrench laughed.

he watched numbers shout at him - “you fucking asshole! you - fucking asshole! i hate you!” - and that only made him laugh harder.

_wait!_ wrench said when numbers grabbed a pillow off their couch and moved to beat him with it. hold on. _let me get this straight. you want to fuck animals?_ it wasn’t a particularly disturbing thought - wrench wouldn’t excuse bestiality, of course, and he knew that that wasn’t exactly what numbers meant by what he’d confessed. he just had to tease him.

numbers roared, throwing his head back. _no!_ he said. _i want to be the animal getting fucked!_

_you’re freaky,_ wrench said, _but that could be sexy. wear some cute little ears for me? all fours?_

numbers’s ears looked like they were on fire, and his cheeks were so red - _so cute,_ wrench thought, _bastard._

_that’s not it,_ numbers said.

_then what?_ wrench said.

numbers glared at him. _you won’t understand,_ he said.

_you’re right,_ wrench said, _i won’t._ he shrugged.

_i mean…_ numbers said, looking a little contrite. _that’s close. not exactly what it is, but…_

_so it is a sex thing?_ wrench said.

numbers grumbled. he rubbed the back of his red neck and glanced around, eyes shifting. _fine,_ he conceded. _it’s kind of a sex thing._

_knew it,_ wrench said.

*****

_this is what i was thinking,_ wrench said as numbers shuffled over to him, nude, with a demure pair of black cat ears sat upon his head, the headband nearly blending into his hair. numbers narrowed his eyes as he approached.

wrench, in his shirt and jeans, sat very comfortably at the edge of their bed. he bit back his giggles, watching a very self-conscious numbers balance himself on wrench’s lap, looking everywhere except wrench’s face. once he was still, wrench reached around his back and trailed his fingers down his spine, pressing gently against the knot of his tailbone before grasping at the fluffy black tail that was dangling between his legs. he pulled very gently and watched as numbers huffed and squirmed.

_what?_ wrench said, a cocky little grin on his face. _kitty doesn’t like it when i pull his tail?_

numbers half-heartedly shoved his shoulder. _i’ll kill you,_ he said.

_meow for me,_ wrench said.

_you can’t hear it,_ numbers said, a little defiant spark in his eye. it was cute, the way he was trying to preserve his dignity like he had any left.

wrench grabbed numbers’s black tail again. numbers tensed. wrench raised an eyebrow and numbers shook his head. again, wrench pulled very gently, and he watched numbers shudder and bite his bottom lip.

wrench let up, patting numbers’s ass. he looked at him, silently imploring.

numbers glared before wrench watched him sigh and let out what was unmistakably a pathetic little meow.

wrench grinned, giving his ass a little slap before saying _that’s more like it, little kitty._

_i won’t purr,_ numbers said.

_you wanna bet?_ wrench said, fiddling with his tail again. _i’ll make you purr._

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated, again, to the group chat, who continue to give me some of the best worst ideas. this one veered off a little, so i hope to do an equally absurd sequel that has more of the traditional furry stuff we all know.


End file.
